Holy Bananas! Third Trimester!

 Holy Bananas- I feel as if I have already let this second baby down by not blogging about him more! My last post was about the first trimester fun! This Tuesday I enter into the third at 28 weeks (although some sources say I already am at 27 weeks). 

I'd say for the first 20 weeks or so, until we found out the gender, it was an exact same pregnancy as my first. Same nausea, same headaches, same symptoms. But since finding out the gender (coincidence or not, dunno!) I am noticing more differences. More to come on that, BUT! For any blog readers that don't already know, we are having a baby boy! Turns out this makes us a "Millionaires family" which I had to look up when people told me- It means we have one of each, a boy and a girl--who knew? My husband is stoked to have a boy as am I! I hope he is 100% game for lots and lots of boy mommy snuggles, because I am! By the way, I wish the actual income came with term "Millionaires family" because, that would be awesome. Just saying. 

Anyway, as for differences in the pregnancies, the main differences are: 

1) His movements. I am convinced he might be a....tap dancer? Or a fish. Either one. He has distinct movements different than what I remember for my daughter. Although he definitely throws a good punch/kick at times, he also does this thing, where if I had to describe it, it would be a fishes fin saying Hi- like wiggling in the wind. I usually get that feeling in one spot at a time. I call him a tap dancer because there are other times it feels as if he is moving his whole body and dancing- all limbs moving at once-crazy fun! 

2) Cravings. With my daughter, I was addicted to Tropicana 50 Orange Juice, and organic gorilla munch cocoa puffs. This pregnancy, don't even mention OJ to me- I don't want it. This time around--bring me all the bagels. This craving has resulted in a few extra pounds lol. 

3) This next one is full of lots of girl gross stuff so if you aren't interested, skip to next paragraph: So as I approached ~26 weeks or so, I started having pain "down there" in the lower pelvic region. It literally felt like my bones were being squeezed- usually when I walked, or moved, really. But by 27 weeks the pain was nearly unbearable, and I was (barely) walking around my house like a 97 year old. I desperately spoke out to my OB in cries for help who referred me to Physical Therapy- who knew we have physical therapists trained in woman's health specifically? Turns out I have "symphysis pubis dysfunction" which is a fancy way of saying my pelvic bones are too relaxed (you would think this would mean less pain but no) and since it is my second baby and my body knows what to do, the pelvic bones are shifting around and preparing for birth. Cool. Luckily I got a special brace that is SUPER attractive that I get to wear around my butt- no really, super attractive because I even get to wear it OVER my pants-gathering tons of cool looks but I don't even care because it has made a 180 degree difference! As long as I have my super attractive belt on, my pain is minimal- like a 1/10, compared to a 8/10. Who knew?

I'd also like to give you this mental image of me with my super attractive belt. I also drew this with my finger on my computer, so don't judge my art skills. 

Dunno why I gave myself pigtails, but it felt right at the time. She also is shrugging, because she has no idea what's going on. Her smile is half smile (yay pain relief! but also half confused. But overall she's one heck of a badass, super attractive mama.

As we settle in for the soon to be holidays and get ready for baby number 2....wait, did I say get ready? Lol we are no where's near ready. Physically or mentally! My husband and I take turns on whose turn it is to completely freak out that we are bringing a second child in and all of the unknowns that come with it. But we are also super excited. But believe me when I say, besides a few clothes that we happen to have found while out and about, and all of the baby stuff we already have from baby #1, we have nothing else ready. I swear we were ready by now on my first pregnancy, but life was oh so good back then and I didn't even know. I was basically "just" working full time for my first. This time I am working full time, taking 2 classes per semester for my Masters (1 at a time thank God), and running after a toddler. During the school year, this gives me approximately 1-2 hours a WEEK of "free time" that isn't already dedicated to my daughter, housework, or homework. And you think I want to sort through baby stuff on that last 1-2 hours per week? No! It's NAP time during that time! God bless my husband for letting Mama take a good nap on a weekend!  But no really. Zero things are ready in the nursery. So cool. Another factor we are working on is Mission Move Daughter to New Room- A very involved mission. Our nursery, aka my daughters room now is right next to the Master Bedroom. The next closest room thats equivalent in size (maybe a little bigger) is further down the hallway. After much back and forth, we decided that although a significant struggle to achieve it, it is best for both kids if we move my daughter down the hallway and put the newborn in the nursery. So our project now is prepping my daughters NEW room so that we can move her first- then prep the nursery... Andddd we have ~ 12 weeks to go. 

I am also emotionally terrified on what it will be like bringing in number 2. I already am way prone to suffering from excess anxiety, and when children come into the mix, my anxiety just spirals out of control. I am not worried about caring for a baby again, I feel familiar enough with those steps of what worked and what didn't from my first child. What makes me nervous is all of the factors of caring for a baby and a toddler. The last thing I want to happen is for my daughter to think she has been cast aside for the newborn or that she is any less important. I want her to have as much mommy and daddy time as she has now, but I know it will be hard finding that balance. I worry about things like- how do I watch a toddler and a newborn? What if I am on the couch breastfeeding by myself and I hear my daughter say "uh oh" (she does this a lot) in another room? What if I finally get the baby to sleep but then my toddler wakes up? Or I get the toddler to sleep and the baby wakes up? What if I never sleep again??? I know. I get out of control. All I can tell myself to get me through is- one day at a time. I have no idea what the days will look like, but all I can do is one day at a time. I know there will be crazy days and days I question all my life choices, but there will also be so much love and snuggles and perfect moments too. My daughter is getting big enough now (she just turned 2 in August)- that I can give her simple tasks that will be a big help to Mama when baby is here, like "can you get the burp cloth", "can you give baby the binky", etc. As for my daughter, people ask me all the time if I think she has any idea what's coming. We have tried to prep her but I am not convinced she REALLY knows. If prompted, she will point to my stomach when asked where the baby is. She will say "baby boy" and will say the babies name, she will give it kisses through my stomach, says hi...but I think she just thinks a baby lives in my stomach all the sudden and that's probably it! We have seen little babies in public, or on TV, or in books, and have tried to explain that is what baby boy will be like, soon! And she kinda just looks at us. Soooo we will see! 

Well I couldn't not write about what its like to be pregnant and parent a child during a historic year- 2020- during a global pandemic. The world is such a weird place right now, especially being pregnant during this time. We found out we were pregnant on May 8. Literally since then (actually since March), I have seen no more than 5 of my coworkers. That is so weird! I am full time working remote, so although I get to talk to them all the time, I have lost that aspect of people seeing my bump, having hallway mama talk, etc. But then again I also don't miss random strangers on the elevator asking if I know what it is, what is it's name, etc. 

Going to the OB is also a different experience. Like many outpatient offices around my area, when I get to the office I have to "check in" from my car. The front desk staff then lets the clinical staff know I am here. Then I wait. The clinical staff then call me back and complete all the screenings, ask me all the questions, the fun stuff. They direct me to come up (in a mask of course) and we finish the rest of the visit as normal. I am blessed enough that in my part of the country/world (East Pennsylvania) my husband is allowed to join me for the ultrasounds. I cannot imagine and deeply feel for the mothers that have had to do that alone. 

Even when the world isn't in a pandemic, it is stressful being pregnant. Everything you do or every place you go, you wonder- Is this safe for me, for my baby? Now add in the huge unknown factor of a virus outbreak that you can't see but know it could seriously affect you and the unborn baby. Trying to find a balance of still trying to live our lives and let my toddler experience life but also keeping us all, especially baby and I protected, is super stressful! Every sneeze you hear, every cough, you cringe- wondering if you just exposed yourself to the virus, and having no idea if you do get the virus, what long term outcomes/consequences it will have on you and baby. There is no visible end in sight for this virus, as we approach month bajillion, and I know it will be a way different experience having a baby and first few months post partum during COVID. No more big family parties to see the newborn. No more taking newborn out in public (to the mall, restaurants, shopping) to 'get out of the house' (He is also born in January so the cold changes things too even in a non-pandemic world). It will certainly be different, but all we can do is hope. Hope for a vaccine. Hope for a change. Hope for better virus management. Hope for better days ahead. Luckily the kids are/will be young enough they won't remember this, but will be interesting to explain to them what life was like during this time, when they were oh so little. All we can do is love them and keep home life as normal as possible and keep things positive within our 4 walls and we will survive. This too shall pass. 

Well, I could keep writing about anything and everything, but I will stop here. Little daughter is currently shouting "mommy change pooey!" from her crib- post nap- her favorite time to poo. SO I better get on that! I thank you kindly for being interested enough to read this post, it means a lot to me. I am excited to be able to document these things that my children can also look back on in the future. 

With love, 

The New Motherboard. 

Centuries of Waiting

Well, Here we are at 40 weeks exactly tomorrow. I know that means I've literally just hit the due date and that we aren't past it...yet....but it still feels like we've been waiting forever. Especially when you read those dang Internet forums where other women in your due date bracket have had their babies for weeks now. I know its unrealistic to expect that and that waiting til the due date means she's all the more healthy and all that...but.....ahhhhhhhh.

I'm slightly convinced she's started painting the womb walls, put up shelves, got some womb decor, signed a lease....etc. I'm also slightly convinced that if I got on a cruise ship right now, it might sink.

I've had so many "visions" or predictions, or feelings, of how I thought labor was gonna start, and this little girl has defied every one of them. So we already know about her that she has a very stubborn personality, she's mysterious, has a mind of her own and she knows what she wants! Okay then. Leo girl it is. (Lets friggen hope so because we looked it up last night and the next horoscope Virgo starts August 23rd. She better be here by then!

I get it 100%. I KNOW and fully realize and I can literally feel all the moms out there with newborns, infants, screaming toddlers, etc., that these days are the best. They are the very last days I have of silence, sleep, peace, 1:1 time with my husband, etc. I get it. I know. I've heard it all. And I appreciate them so much, I really try. I really do. In fact I know that within my own SELF that I will look back on these days and wish that I had them back in just a few short weeks. I get that too! But at some point, you are just ready to get on with the next chapter, you know? I know things are about to get crazy challenging and words will be said in exhaustion that aren't meant and sleep will be a thing of the past, I know all this. But we are both 30 years old. We have wanted this baby and have tried for it since literally our wedding night (almost 3 years ago). We literally upgraded the size of our house and got a typical colonial last year in preparation for being able to start a family. We have planned for it and we are ready to just get that chapter started. We enjoyed our 20s so much, went on tons of vacations around the country, hundreds of concerts, date nights, etc. We are just so ready to welcome her into this home and get that chapter started.

I also get that she will come out when she's ready. If I had a penny for every time I've heard that within the last month, we could send a decent fund to her college savings account by now. I know she will come out when she is ready and I do not want to force that on her. But.....I wish I could ask her, is there anything you'd like mommy to do to help you be ready? Are you waiting on something I can do for you? The time is now, kid, let's get this show on the road! The exit sign is "down there"! Oye.

Things I have tried and obviously have had no effect:

- I ate tons of pineapple. Which, I really thought would work because around 35 weeks I had a hefty serving of it for lunch and did not know it could cause contractions, and we were in triage that night with contractions (but obviously sent home).
- Been drinking 3-4 tea bags worth of red raspberry leaf tea per day. Sometimes this makes me feel crampy while I drink it but no more excitement beyond that.
- We walk, a LOT. We walk approximately 1 mile, about 3-5 times per week. Its hard with the August Northeast weather (its either hot as h*ll or its monsooning this summer), but we try as often as we can or go to the local mall to walk.
- We got a yoga gym bouncy ball that I bounce on, circulate my hips on, you name it. Which is hilarious because my 12 lb dog thinks this ball is the antichrist and literally shakes in fear when she she's the ball. It's a little absurd.
- I really have never had a tolerance for spicy food ever, but I went and got the spiciest I could handle (literally the chicken at chipotle lol- childs play spice for most of you), and that did nothing.
- I meditated a lot. Nothing.
- I laid down in silence and had a heart to heart with the womb and tried telling her its okay to come out. Nothing.

BUT things I've accomplished in waiting:

-2 1000 piece puzzles. I seriously love puzzles but c'mon, there's only so much puzzling you can do.
-almost finished with my cross stitch piece I started in January! (It's big!)
- Organized every closet I could think of in this house.
- Put together a pack in play.
- Read a lot of information and books about parenting and welcoming babies written by pediatricians. I know this may be overkill, but I hate walking into something and just winging it. Big presentation at work next week? I prepare and practice as much as I possibly can. Big text next week? I study as much as I can. I hate "winging it", and I know we totally still will wing it, and this kid won't fit into what the textbooks say, but still, to me, it can't hurt to at least try and learn what to do when she's here.

Speaking of textbooks, I have thought of a few things that they do NOT tell you about in health class regarding pregnancy! Granted I have been through nursing school which has included a maternity class, but lets just say I didn't do great in that class...

- You have total permission to think less of me and that's fine, but for a huge portion of my life I thought pregnancy was 36 weeks. I mean, I've always learned its 9 months. There's 4 weeks in a month, and 4X9 is 36. When I then heard that its actually 40 weeks I am like what??? That's 10 months! Why don't they heavily advertise that! Granted I knew about this before we conceived but I was still shocked to learn I felt I've been tricked my whole life. And that's if the baby comes on time! Whats with this possibility of 41-42 weeks nonsense!!!

- mucous plug. WHAT! Man if they showed that to the kids in health class in high school, pregnancy rates would have to drop significantly. I lost mine about a week ago and MAN. I thought that was definitely an alien substance. And I'm a nurse!  Therefore I thought it was fascinating, but many people would not think the same.

- Apparently only 15% of women have their water break! What is this! We live in a culture where all the movies we see, the pregnant woman's water ALWAYS breaks. Not just breaks, but its usually this epic scene of gushing waterfalls coming out. But apparently this is definitely not the case. Nope. Only 15% of women are "lucky" enough to get that epic sign that they are definitely in labor. The rest of us get to play the game of "Is this a fake contraction or a real contraction?" or the game of "lets go to triage again for 4 hours and get sent home". It's terribly fun.


Well thank you for reading all, I hope I've made some of you giggle here and there. It really is terribly funny and at this point all I can do is laugh about it otherwise I'll go crazy. And I know its just the beginning. We go to the doctor in a few hours and I hope that we hear of some progress!!!! Last week I was 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced so WHERE is she? Let's hope maybe we will have a baby tomorrow on her due date. If that's the case, at least we know we have a kid that can follow directions!


With love,

The New Motherboard <3

PS my next blog is going to be our birth story! No If's ands or buts!

The Anxiety Ache

Hello readers!

We are 37 weeks! That is insane. Truly.

Things are overall going....well? Considering other people's stories, I have it pretty good. My main ailments revolve around getting bigger, like hip pains, lower back pain, etc. My carpal tunnel in my wrist is flaring up but that could also be the week's worth of rain the northeast just got dumped. My fatigue has been horrible as each day I feel like I could sleep while walking... I guess that is natures way of prepping me for the next 20 years! I have made some adjustments lately so hopefully that improves. Overall I am lucky, I don't have the insomnia, overly frequent urination, heartburn, etc.

My other big symptom lately has been anxiety. As if it hasn't been "real" this whole time, it especially feels real now. IF she waits until full term, then we only have 3 weeks left, (actually by now its 2 weeks and 5 days!!) and thats if she doesn't come early, which she has shown signs of maybe wanting to. I'm thinking (at least hoping) that this is normal for moms this close to delivery to feel. Basically I can't decide what is scarier at this point, her being inside me or her being on the outside living with us.

Last Monday (again with the Monday's) she gave us another scare. I was having contractions on and off Sunday and then came down with this constant abdominal pain that wasn't going away. We figured it was likely the early stages of labor and we went to bed to get a good night's rest, thinking we'd be having a baby Monday. I tried working from home Monday but the pain continued although the contractions faded. I took a nap and the pain continued. I let the doctor know and she told me to rest and try a few stretches to get baby to move. I tried as best I could and went to a cardiology appt that I had, and when I left the cardiologist I just felt dizzy, out of it and still had the pain. I called the doctor again and was told to go to L&D triage. Well, long story short, 6 hours were spent in triage and we didn't leave until 11:30 pm. Our end diagnosis was "heartburn" and I was still in a LOT of pain. I knew it wasn't heartburn, I've had heartburn before throughout my life and know exactly what it feels like. This felt like I was wearing jeans just above my belly button that were way too tight and digging into me, even though there was nothing there. But we were exhausted, I was sore from laying on a stretcher, and were both starving. So we took the diagnosis and left. Tuesday I stayed home from work and rested, the pain continued. I tried yoga, hot shower, resting, lots of water...The pain slightly subsided. I went to get groceries and was practically gripping the shopping cart with white knuckles in pain. I went home and rested some more. Eventually the pain subsided on its own, but it really got me thinking, at what point do you really start raising the alarm? It's not just me and my body anymore, I am a mom now and need to advocate for my daughter. At what point is it just to keep calling the doctors because you are in pain even though they diagnosed you with "heartburn"? I hate being "that" person that doctors roll their eyes at, but they're also not living in my body and feeling my pain. I know its not OK to listen to horror stories online, but how can you avoid them? I hear these stories of mom with weird symptoms that ended up being a matter of life or death for their baby, and they caught it just in time thanks to the mom continuously fighting for their unborn child. It really is hard knowing at what point to trust yourself or to just the doctors. I work in and receive healthcare from a state of the art hospital and healthcare system which I know is a blessing in comparison to other healthcare institutions in my area that I could not say the same for. But it is still terrifying.

So yeah, these last few weeks are anxiety driven as I worry for her health. I go weekly to the doctor and so much technology exists to monitor unborn children, but I know how fast things can take a turn for the worse.  I just am terrified I will miss a symptom and not know she's in danger. I've always been fascinated by healthcare technology and I want all the tests done because I want to know as much about her as possible! Her size, her weight, etc. She always passes her kick counts, but then there are those days where she just isn't moving as much and you can see the anxiety all over my face and my tensed body on those days. I just have had horrible nightmares of her not making it or something horribly wrong with her health and I cannot imagine coming all this way and not getting to meet her and bring her home. I just cannot.  I addressed these horrible fears with the doctor and she offered anti-anxiety medicine. As if. You would need to put me in a coma to get rid of my anxiety, and frankly I would think any new mom would say that! Its natural to be concerned, and I wouldn't want to be a happy go lucky zombie walking around thats not concerned about her child's health.

But that brings me to her being born! Let's skip over the whole labor and delivery part, I know thats full of many anxious thoughts I won't bring up now. Let's skip right to the day when we bring her home. I know my anxiety will continue. That's natural for a mom with a new baby. But being so close to this point, I am trying to visualize our life with a newborn and the next year ahead. I know our life will change drastically and its hard imagining those scenarios and how we will cope until we're in the middle of it living it. We both want to do everything right, but like any new parent, we also have no idea what we are doing. I'm not sure yet how I am going to sleep, especially that first week, and trust that she's okay, alive and breathing. I remember babysitting infants and sometimes would just watch them breathe as they slept to ensure they were okay. But I hope that anxiety fades in time. But even the years to come, It's going to be hard controlling my anxiety with any ailment the child has. She will cough and I will be worried its tuberculosis. Okay thats extreme, but you get my point. With my huge imagination mixed with my anxiety, you can probably guess I've always been a little bit of a hypochondriac myself. And this extends to those I love also. When my husband has a health issue or a close family member, I always feel like I need to err on the side of caution and I think of all the horrible things it could be. I think this stems from a fear of guilt, from imagining if I were wrong or downplayed their concerns or symptoms and then it ended up being something deadly or serious. I think the same thing applies with my future child. As a nurse myself, I fear that if I downplay their symptom, what If it does turn out to be very serious and I ignored it?

We have picked out our pediatrician and he has helped to ease my anxiety. He has been in practice for almost 30 years and seems to really know his stuff and has good instinct. I trust that and hope we will be a good match.

Overall, we cannot wait to meet her. To see what she looks like. To bring her home and start living our lives as a family of three (6 with the pets!) and to start seeing and experiences those miracles and her milestones.  We can't wait to start living life through her eyes and experiencing all life has to offer with a child, showing her all the things we love. But I know the next couple months are going to be the most challenging of them all also. We are very blessed to have a lot of support with friends and family very close by and just a text or call away, so I am thankful for that.


Thank you for sticking with it with a long post with me. It helps to just get all of this out, even just for my sanity! Now we are going to go on a walk :-)

Happy Saturday!

Love, the New Motherboard. <3

Dreaming Big

Hello Readers!

Happy fourth of July!


Might I start off by stating that this week hubby and I were joking that next baby needs to be an early spring baby. Not in the middle of a snowstorm, but I can be 7-9 months pregnant in the cold and not in this drastic heat! It's been awful. Even staying indoors is challenging as our AC can only do so much without breaking! It's nice to dream at least, I know baby #2 will happen whenever it's meant to be. It's even a joke that we are thinking about baby #2 yet! (I swear we aren't, just joking it needs to be a winter baby.

Otherwise, I am 34 weeks!! It's INSANE. It's terrifying that baby could come any time now. I know its early still, but in TWO weeks is the mark where they wouldn't try and stop early labor. On June 25th I saw a Reiki therapist ( I highly recommend trying it!) who predicted my baby was coming in 4 weeks (so, like 2.5 weeks from now). We shall see!

My main symptoms have been my 3 ribs are "out of place" according to the chiropractor due to my expanding body and lungs shifting. So all day my upper left back feels numb and tingly and at night its excrutiating pain. But besides that, I am feeling great. Seriously way better than the first and second trimesters. I could honestly do this trimester for the whole nine months instead of go through the 1st and 2nd again.

As for baby, she's in the 73rd percentile! She's about 5 lbs and is very healthy. Going to be a big baby (scared & terrified emoji here please).  One of my favorite parts about pregnancy that I have noticed, especially recently, is that when I am very happy, like when a favorite song comes on, or I am eating a favorite food, or I'm with great company, or whatever, she moves so much. Like she senses my joy and is celebrating it too. Could be a coincidence but I don't think so!

Anyway, this post is about dreams. I have had the most ridiculous dreams in this pregnancy and some are hilarious. I wanted to share and hope you have some laughs too! Please feel free any mamas out there any funny pregnant dreams you remember!


The latest & greatest (last night):
All the sudden we had this ginormous house with like 5 floors and hundreds of rooms. For some reason we had like a crazy amount of kids like 20 or something crazy. So here I am in my dream searching for my husband and I finally found him on one of the upper floors hiding, and he had made a little man cave. So I decided to make my own woman cave too. And he is like, well who is watching the kids? And I was like, I don't know, I'm trying to hide from them! And he is like, "me too!" so then the dogs found us and we were all hiding together and we were telling the dogs not to bark so that the kids couldn't find us!! Hah! What does that mean? Don't have 20 kids I guess...


Next-

We went into labour at home, and for some reason that wasn't really a big deal in my dream. We had the baby and it was like a piece of cake like we did this every day. So we put her up in her crib, and we go back downstairs and watch TV for a few hours. Then eventually I am like, do you think I should feed her? And my husband shrugs and is like, probably... So I go to get her from the crib and see she's sleeping with a blanket and I'm like OMG they're not supposed to sleep with blankets! (Great time to start parenting). So I feed her and then I go back downstairs and I ask my husband, "So if she was born this early do you think we should take her to the hospital or anything to get checked?"   I can't even these dreams are cray...

Most of my others are pretty vague and just general concepts. I had one where we were on a long plane ride and I just laid her on the seat next to me (not even a seatbelt lol). I got up to go talk to people and came back and she was just sleeping there, and other passengers were like, do you think you should hold her? And I'm like oh shoot I forgot she was there! Lol.

Then I've had a few vague dreams where I'm supposed to watch someone else's baby and I suddenly realize I have no idea what I'm doing, and If I can't babysit how am I going to be a mom???


Dreams overall are pretty funny and are no reflection of who we really are or how we will really act (god I hope so at least!). I think they highlight our worst and greatest fears but who knows why..maybe to show us that even though we think we are messing up in real life, we know we will never actually be that bad as we let ourselves be in our dreams?

I will likely even add to this post as I dream more, but please comment with your own funny dreams! I'm sure we all have the same themes and plot lines as pregnant women! I've heard other themes like forgetting you have a baby and not attending to it for days, or losing the baby, etc.

Thanks for reading!

Love,
The New Motherboard

A New Beginning

Hello Everyone!

So I am starting a new blog! I've blogged other blogs in the past, and I miss it so much! It's such a great, healthy channel to document a journey or just daily thoughts. My main mission here is to document the final and third trimester of my first pregnancy and then continue on to document the joys and hardships of raising our first child! The blog is for me, I'm not working to market to a global audience by any means. The world has enough 'new mom' blogs, thats for sure! But I want something that I can publish as a book for myself after her first year to document the years journey, to look back on all we've done together. What will make my blog a little unique, is technology. I've named my blog "the New Motherboard", partly in that because I am obviously a new mom, and the other half is because I love all things technology. I work as a nurse in IT and get to see and hear about the brand new technology available, particularly how it is used and affects healthcare. As we have been shopping and browsing for things we need for our baby, its been overwhelming on how many options there are out there in terms of technological products. So part of what I want to focus on is not just new parenting, but also using existing and new technology in ours and our child's life.

A little about myself, I am a first time mom at 29 years old, soon to be 30 in one week! I work as a nurse in informatics, but prior to that was a nurse at the bedside for 10 years. I am happily married to my husband, who I met six years ago and have been married to for almost three years. We have been trying for this child ever since the wedding, so we are very excited. We both feel like we were blessed enough to spend our 20's vacationing, enjoying life, exploring, building our careers, upgraded our house, and now are ready to enter parenthood in our 30s! We have three "Furchildren", one girl Dog Daisy, a 10 lb cockapoo, and 2 cats, Belle & Maui, 5 years and a kitten. They already keep us busy!

So far the pregnancy has been relatively good and healthy. My first trimester I was downtrodden with awful nausea. I only vomited once, but the nausea alone was so bad there were days I could barely function or stand up. The second trimester got rid of the nausea (thank god) but brought in severe headaches. I've still been working to battle the headaches, but they've improved a little as I have learned safe techniques to help. The third trimester so far has been mostly back pain, hip pain and heartburn! Yay!

As for baby, we are having a baby girl! She is usually very active and it amazes me the movements she makes sometimes. I was trying to explain how it felt to my husband and couldn't come up with words that made sense. It is just truly surreal. She moves the most when I eat or drink, but in general anytime I am sitting down. Or driving! Lately I have noticed when I am in the car she likes to move, not sure if that means she will be a "car sleeper" or if she will hate the car. Who knows!

I am trying to soak in every moment of the pregnancy. Some days I feel like I'm already so done with this, but other days I don't want this time to end. Our due date is August 16th, and part of me feels like it is right around the corner (it is), and part of me feels like that is forever from now. I strive to take in each moment but life keeps me distracted easily too. I have always been a type of person to adapt quickly to situations and surroundings, whether it be a new challenge at work or in life. So part of my subconscious has just taken this whole pregnancy and just adapted to it as yeah, just a part of my life. I work full time and have plenty at work to keep my mind distracted and plugging through the weeks. But then there are those moments where it all sinks in and I am like, "Holy Sh**, I am creating an actual human being in here. This isn't something that will just be over, we are bringing home a baby!!" Its very scary. But in a good way. It's definitely harder to forget I'm creating a human now that I feel huge and she moves a lot.

Something I have really struggled with this pregnancy is watching myself get bigger and bigger. I know it's the baby, but I know its also me. I've always struggled with my weight and haven't felt comfortable in my body since I was about 20. In March 2017 I had reached the heaviest I have ever been at 212 pounds and it was the wake up call I needed. I hated how I looked and was depressed with it all. I started a journey with the help of a chiropractor and a nutritionist to start losing weight. It came off slowly that whole summer, til I started what is called the "HCG diet" in the fall 2017. This was a 500 calorie/day specific foods only diet used in combination with the HCG hormone. Through this diet in combination with the summer weight loss, I had lost a total of 40 pounds and it felt so good. I had no intentions of returning to any bad habits, I had adjusted to my new way of eating and was in a good place and wanted to lose more. Well we found out we were pregnant in December 2017. With the severe first trimester nausea, I found myself disgusted by leafy greens or excess vegetables, and all I could muster up the strength to eat was simple carbohydrates like bread or pasta. Therefore began my spiral back into my bad habits again. I had intentions to walk it off as I ate more, but we had a very very cold northeast winter and I couldn't really consistently get out walking until late April/May. By then however I was in my late second trimester coming into the third, and walking now is a lot harder. I have been working on other ways to keep my weight in check by doing small exercises and trying to find the willpower to not indulge on everything I want, but it is hard! There's gotta be a scientific fact to prove that pregnancy overall makes it harder to turn down our indulgences!

The last subject I wanted to talk about in my first post is something that has truly surprised me in this pregnancy. I want to call it "Stranger negativity". Almost every person that I have talked to about the pregnancy, whether it be a stranger, an acquaintance, a coworker, or even a good friend, they all have so many negative things to say about "what I'm in for". They all need to throw in their two cents on how hard its going to be in the next couple months raising a newborn, and how our lives will never be the same, and we can say goodbye to our freedom, and say goodbye to sleep, yada yada yada. And I get it! I know all of this is true. We've been waiting for this for over 2 years. That doesn't mean by any means that we are 100% ready, of course not. No parent can truly say they are ready, ever. But we know it's not going to be unicorns, puppies, rainbows and a perfect baby either. We know what the next few months to a year has in store. But what bothers me is how much negativity and "warnings" come from other parents out there. It's exhausting to hear. I appreciate and know they mean well and are recounting their own experiences with their children, but we will live through that soon too and see for ourselves. Why do we have to dread it? I want to strive to take in those hard days and nights as challenges but get through them. Will I likely read this post 2-3 months post birth and laugh at myself? Yeah, probably. I know its going to be hard. But literally only one mom-friend that I have said how good the experience has been for her, despite her many bad days and nights too. Everyone else has been all warnings, dread, and negative comments. It's disappointing and sad to hear and I look forward to hearing other good experiences parents are having. And I want to be that good voice for any of you too, and talk about our good and bad experiences as we raise our daughter. Like any challenge we have to strive to see the good moments in a challenging journey.


Thank you for reading everyone! I hope to post frequently on many topics that I encounter or think about in the pregnancy. Come back soon!

Love,

The New Motherboard