Holy Bananas- I feel as if I have already let this second baby down by not blogging about him more! My last post was about the first trimester fun! This Tuesday I enter into the third at 28 weeks (although some sources say I already am at 27 weeks).
I'd say for the first 20 weeks or so, until we found out the gender, it was an exact same pregnancy as my first. Same nausea, same headaches, same symptoms. But since finding out the gender (coincidence or not, dunno!) I am noticing more differences. More to come on that, BUT! For any blog readers that don't already know, we are having a baby boy! Turns out this makes us a "Millionaires family" which I had to look up when people told me- It means we have one of each, a boy and a girl--who knew? My husband is stoked to have a boy as am I! I hope he is 100% game for lots and lots of boy mommy snuggles, because I am! By the way, I wish the actual income came with term "Millionaires family" because, that would be awesome. Just saying.
Anyway, as for differences in the pregnancies, the main differences are:
1) His movements. I am convinced he might be a....tap dancer? Or a fish. Either one. He has distinct movements different than what I remember for my daughter. Although he definitely throws a good punch/kick at times, he also does this thing, where if I had to describe it, it would be a fishes fin saying Hi- like wiggling in the wind. I usually get that feeling in one spot at a time. I call him a tap dancer because there are other times it feels as if he is moving his whole body and dancing- all limbs moving at once-crazy fun!
2) Cravings. With my daughter, I was addicted to Tropicana 50 Orange Juice, and organic gorilla munch cocoa puffs. This pregnancy, don't even mention OJ to me- I don't want it. This time around--bring me all the bagels. This craving has resulted in a few extra pounds lol.
3) This next one is full of lots of girl gross stuff so if you aren't interested, skip to next paragraph: So as I approached ~26 weeks or so, I started having pain "down there" in the lower pelvic region. It literally felt like my bones were being squeezed- usually when I walked, or moved, really. But by 27 weeks the pain was nearly unbearable, and I was (barely) walking around my house like a 97 year old. I desperately spoke out to my OB in cries for help who referred me to Physical Therapy- who knew we have physical therapists trained in woman's health specifically? Turns out I have "symphysis pubis dysfunction" which is a fancy way of saying my pelvic bones are too relaxed (you would think this would mean less pain but no) and since it is my second baby and my body knows what to do, the pelvic bones are shifting around and preparing for birth. Cool. Luckily I got a special brace that is SUPER attractive that I get to wear around my butt- no really, super attractive because I even get to wear it OVER my pants-gathering tons of cool looks but I don't even care because it has made a 180 degree difference! As long as I have my super attractive belt on, my pain is minimal- like a 1/10, compared to a 8/10. Who knew?
I'd also like to give you this mental image of me with my super attractive belt. I also drew this with my finger on my computer, so don't judge my art skills.
As we settle in for the soon to be holidays and get ready for baby number 2....wait, did I say get ready? Lol we are no where's near ready. Physically or mentally! My husband and I take turns on whose turn it is to completely freak out that we are bringing a second child in and all of the unknowns that come with it. But we are also super excited. But believe me when I say, besides a few clothes that we happen to have found while out and about, and all of the baby stuff we already have from baby #1, we have nothing else ready. I swear we were ready by now on my first pregnancy, but life was oh so good back then and I didn't even know. I was basically "just" working full time for my first. This time I am working full time, taking 2 classes per semester for my Masters (1 at a time thank God), and running after a toddler. During the school year, this gives me approximately 1-2 hours a WEEK of "free time" that isn't already dedicated to my daughter, housework, or homework. And you think I want to sort through baby stuff on that last 1-2 hours per week? No! It's NAP time during that time! God bless my husband for letting Mama take a good nap on a weekend! But no really. Zero things are ready in the nursery. So cool. Another factor we are working on is Mission Move Daughter to New Room- A very involved mission. Our nursery, aka my daughters room now is right next to the Master Bedroom. The next closest room thats equivalent in size (maybe a little bigger) is further down the hallway. After much back and forth, we decided that although a significant struggle to achieve it, it is best for both kids if we move my daughter down the hallway and put the newborn in the nursery. So our project now is prepping my daughters NEW room so that we can move her first- then prep the nursery... Andddd we have ~ 12 weeks to go.
I am also emotionally terrified on what it will be like bringing in number 2. I already am way prone to suffering from excess anxiety, and when children come into the mix, my anxiety just spirals out of control. I am not worried about caring for a baby again, I feel familiar enough with those steps of what worked and what didn't from my first child. What makes me nervous is all of the factors of caring for a baby and a toddler. The last thing I want to happen is for my daughter to think she has been cast aside for the newborn or that she is any less important. I want her to have as much mommy and daddy time as she has now, but I know it will be hard finding that balance. I worry about things like- how do I watch a toddler and a newborn? What if I am on the couch breastfeeding by myself and I hear my daughter say "uh oh" (she does this a lot) in another room? What if I finally get the baby to sleep but then my toddler wakes up? Or I get the toddler to sleep and the baby wakes up? What if I never sleep again??? I know. I get out of control. All I can tell myself to get me through is- one day at a time. I have no idea what the days will look like, but all I can do is one day at a time. I know there will be crazy days and days I question all my life choices, but there will also be so much love and snuggles and perfect moments too. My daughter is getting big enough now (she just turned 2 in August)- that I can give her simple tasks that will be a big help to Mama when baby is here, like "can you get the burp cloth", "can you give baby the binky", etc. As for my daughter, people ask me all the time if I think she has any idea what's coming. We have tried to prep her but I am not convinced she REALLY knows. If prompted, she will point to my stomach when asked where the baby is. She will say "baby boy" and will say the babies name, she will give it kisses through my stomach, says hi...but I think she just thinks a baby lives in my stomach all the sudden and that's probably it! We have seen little babies in public, or on TV, or in books, and have tried to explain that is what baby boy will be like, soon! And she kinda just looks at us. Soooo we will see!
Well I couldn't not write about what its like to be pregnant and parent a child during a historic year- 2020- during a global pandemic. The world is such a weird place right now, especially being pregnant during this time. We found out we were pregnant on May 8. Literally since then (actually since March), I have seen no more than 5 of my coworkers. That is so weird! I am full time working remote, so although I get to talk to them all the time, I have lost that aspect of people seeing my bump, having hallway mama talk, etc. But then again I also don't miss random strangers on the elevator asking if I know what it is, what is it's name, etc.
Going to the OB is also a different experience. Like many outpatient offices around my area, when I get to the office I have to "check in" from my car. The front desk staff then lets the clinical staff know I am here. Then I wait. The clinical staff then call me back and complete all the screenings, ask me all the questions, the fun stuff. They direct me to come up (in a mask of course) and we finish the rest of the visit as normal. I am blessed enough that in my part of the country/world (East Pennsylvania) my husband is allowed to join me for the ultrasounds. I cannot imagine and deeply feel for the mothers that have had to do that alone.
Even when the world isn't in a pandemic, it is stressful being pregnant. Everything you do or every place you go, you wonder- Is this safe for me, for my baby? Now add in the huge unknown factor of a virus outbreak that you can't see but know it could seriously affect you and the unborn baby. Trying to find a balance of still trying to live our lives and let my toddler experience life but also keeping us all, especially baby and I protected, is super stressful! Every sneeze you hear, every cough, you cringe- wondering if you just exposed yourself to the virus, and having no idea if you do get the virus, what long term outcomes/consequences it will have on you and baby. There is no visible end in sight for this virus, as we approach month bajillion, and I know it will be a way different experience having a baby and first few months post partum during COVID. No more big family parties to see the newborn. No more taking newborn out in public (to the mall, restaurants, shopping) to 'get out of the house' (He is also born in January so the cold changes things too even in a non-pandemic world). It will certainly be different, but all we can do is hope. Hope for a vaccine. Hope for a change. Hope for better virus management. Hope for better days ahead. Luckily the kids are/will be young enough they won't remember this, but will be interesting to explain to them what life was like during this time, when they were oh so little. All we can do is love them and keep home life as normal as possible and keep things positive within our 4 walls and we will survive. This too shall pass.
Well, I could keep writing about anything and everything, but I will stop here. Little daughter is currently shouting "mommy change pooey!" from her crib- post nap- her favorite time to poo. SO I better get on that! I thank you kindly for being interested enough to read this post, it means a lot to me. I am excited to be able to document these things that my children can also look back on in the future.
With love,
The New Motherboard.
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