Wow! Holy cow. Baby Abby is 9 days old and today marks one week since she has been home with us! That is insane. It's crazy to think she's only 9 days old but already it feels like I have known her forever. It's surreal at this point knowing less than two weeks ago she was still inside of me. Happy to report that we saw the pediatrician on Wednesday and she is growing right on par and she has surpassed her birth weight!That means we can let her sleep longer and go longer in between feedings! Good for us...not good for boobs lol.
Surviving week one has been interesting to say the least! I have a lot to share! Please know that these are just my findings with my own baby and that anything I say is not scientifically proven or researched, just my experiences! Also, I am not getting paid by any company to say I like their product.
The first thing I have come to realize is that parenting is a lot like starting a new job. I've had approximately 10 different roles/jobs throughout my years on earth and each one of them seemed like an impossible feat at the time. Even back to my days working at Shoprite(grocery), I remember being promoted to a cashier and learning the register and thinking that was going to be impossible. Soon enough it became something I loved to do! Looking back now, it's one of the easiest jobs I've ever had! But my point is, when you start a new job, everything is scary. Literally nothing makes sense and every little thing you need to learn or gain access to or figure out, and you have no idea who you can even ask for help. But slowly, little by little, at the end of each day at that job, you learned something new. You made lots of mistakes but now you know how you can avoid those mistakes again. Slowly things start making sense and you know more than you knew yesterday. Sure new challenges will come up but that's growth!! So to me, that's how parenting feels. Day one neither of us knew anything, it was like walking on thin ice around here- afraid to do anything wrong. And then little by little, trial and error, we figure things out. We know what not to do the next day. Sure there are set backs but we learn from them!
Here are some of the quick lessons we figured out that I'd like to share with any other new parents!
1) The Boppy? What. The. Heck. Is the point! We are exclusively breastfeeding and I have given the boppy MANY chances and have yet to find it helpful. I'm talking about the half-circle donut that is supposed to wrap around your stomach to aid in positioning the baby. It doesn't. Maybe I just have a weird shape but it doesn't work. Perhaps it may aid in bottle feeding, but for breast feeding, not for me! I always end up having to lift her up more from the boppy thus making it pointless for it to be there, and my arms are just as tired all the same! Literally the first few nights I would rest her head on a stack of diapers I could reach at arms length! In retrospect, lately I have also learned (see these small lessons?) that Boppy also makes a wedge product that works a lot better if I just rest the wedge on top of a blanket. Its a wedge I used throughout the pregnancy to rest my belly on as I slept so I wouldn't feel the weight of my belly dragging downward.
2) Have a burp cloth in as many reachable spots in your household possible. I mean it. I have used many other things (including my shirt) as stand in burp cloths because I forgot to bring one with me and there I am topless and she's on me and spitting up and no other options! My poor husband has fetched me so many cloths when we had moments in need! Even though I have learned this lesson many times, I am still working on making this a reality, because burp cloths travel!!! I have about 3-4 favorite spots that I like to breastfeed and theres always something missing when I sit down to feed. It's a learning curve getting the hang of making sure I have everything before I breastfeed.
3) Speaking of breastfeeding, I have learned that you need at LEAST four hands to breastfeed correctly, especially in the beginning as you learn! One hand needs to be holding her. One hand needs to be available for grabbing things. One hand needs to be batting away her hands away from her mouth. And one hand needs to be making the "cheeseburger" effect with the boob so she can latch on correctly! It's quite the feat! Oh and maybe another hand in there to wipe excess milk off her face.
4) Sadly, so so so so sadly, we have learned that most baby products are positively useless. They market all of this crazy technology and we fell for a lot of it, buying the high tech swing that plays music, the bouncer that can play music and vibrate, the pack and play that can play music and other things I haven't even investigated, the bassinet that can do music and move the mobile, and it's honestly all just not needed. We literally haven't even put batteries in any of it yet. We still may, you never know, but babies really just need a place to sleep, a place to nap, a changing table, diapers, changing supplies, and food! Okay maybe a little more than that, but it's really all just basics. Plus a lot of the stuff they market to parents ends up not even being SAFE for children which is really terrifying (any product meant for the car or car seat, sleep products, etc). I must say though that the one piece of "high tech baby" equipment we all love so far is her swing. We haven't used it to its full extent yet, but it does plug in and it swings her for as long as we want, and she seems to love it. It's been a god send for some day time naps!
5) Buttons. Buttons on baby clothes should be outlawed. AGAINST THE LAW. WHAT is even the POINT. Like WHO DOES THAT. And they disguise these dreaded devil buttons on the CUTEST clothes and laugh at the profit they're making while parents are crying at 3 am doing 18 buttons for the 10th time in a row!! It's truly unreal. They make the BEST sleeper sacks that have ZIPPERS. I want to buy whoever had that brilliant idea a nice drink, as I'm sure most parents would. You still can't avoid all buttons usually, as onesies have buttons as do many day time clothes, but not having to button and rebutton overnight is truly the best. Team zipper alllllllll the way.
6) Socks. Oh, Socks. I had such high hopes. They are so cute, but we learned pretty quickly that there is no point in trying to make sure they stay together as matches. It seems like they haven't invented a sock that stays on a baby yet, so we find socks down all over the place. We call a "sock down" alert! And also, they make all these insane sock/slippers that are truly adorable but utterly pointless. You really just need solid color (small) snug socks that you won't be upset if you lose one. Or many. As I write this, she's sitting next to me, literally just sitting in a bouncer and has somehow lost a sock.
7) Don't spend too much energy picking the cutest outfit out for your little one because within a minute after putting them in, (buttons and all!), there could be a code spit up, code brown, code milk spill, or code yellow.... And other times we last a whole day with no codes! Its just a gamble and theres no use in getting attached to the cutest outfits! Take pictures of them in the outfit while you can if you love it that much!
8) Keep the old diaper under her til the very last minute and have your next one ready to go!!! We have already had quite a few oopsies with poop and pee on the changing mat! Still learning!
9) Pants. For some reason no one thinks to get pants for parents as gifts! Probably because they aren't cute, but man are they needed. A lot of times they come as outfits, but we have all these onesies and literally one pair of pants to put over them. So first trip out to target already to buy baby pants lol. It's these random things no one tells you!
So those are the quick lessons we learned in week one.
As for bigger lessons, well we are still learning those as will we be for the rest of our lives. Like breastfeeding, sleeping schedules, etc.
As for breastfeeding, I truly love it. I never thought I would say those words however prior to birth or even the first three days of breast feeding. Prior to birth I had a lot of anxiety about it if I could do it or not. Then the first three days was literally torture. She wasn't latching on the best she could and my one side especially felt like daggers for 5 straight minutes as she fed. I am not lying when I said I had to do some lamaze breathing during feedings to get through the pain. But, magically, like literally in the blink of an eye, it became bearable about day 4. Of course within the first three days I panicked and bought like 5 breastfeeding products on amazon to help with the pain and by the time they arrived I haven't opened a single one. It transitioned from being torture, to being bearable, to being something I truly love to do! But if you are considering it or are unsure, here are my personal pros and cons of breastfeeding:
Con:
- As a mom you are literally tied to her 24/7. They strongly advise not pumping and offering a bottle for at least a month so she gets used to nipple first. This means no escape trips out. This means daddy can't bond with her and feed her (yet). This means that I have to assist in every single time she is awake during the night and can't sleep through any. I literally can't leave her presence this first month in fear that she would need food and I can't be there for her. So that can be exhausting, indeed.
- Like I said, at first, it HURTS. But I took the pain as one for the team and knew that each pain was hopefully one step closer to success.
- There are rules that are hard to predict, the one that plagues me is coffee! I really don't drink a lot. During the pregnancy I had 12 oz a day, which is what the doctor allowed. Now that I am breastfeeding I have heard lots of different recommendations, but most say to wait at least an hour after consuming the caffeine to breastfeed. Its been really, really hard predicting when I will see a 60-90 minute break in feeding. Sometimes she goes 3.5 hours without eating and sometimes its 30-45 minutes. And two days in a row now I got it wrong and I had to watch her cry as we waited the last 15-30 minutes til I felt okay feeding her again. I know I think I am overthinking it, but still I just want to do right by her.
- The farts. Oh man....The farts. They come out of her like liquid gold. Truly. Its quiet and then all of the sudden we hear the loudest "shart" you have ever heard. We take turns on who has to get those diapers....lol.
And those are the only cons I have!
Pros:
- Although I said being the only one that can feed her is a con, its ALSO a Pro. With all of our visitors and everyone that loves her and wants to spend time with her, I would be lying if I said that my heart didn't do a little happy dance when she gets hungry and I can go to a separate room and just have mommy/daughter time as I feed her. For now, until we introduce the bottle, it's something only her and I share. Although it's exhausting, I wouldn't trade it for the entire world.
- I know exactly what my daughter is ingesting and don't have to worry which formula is best.
-Cheaper, obviously.
- A never ending supply on hand! No late night trips to target to get more!
- Don't have to figure out/deal with warming bottles at 3 am, just pop out the boob and ready to go!
- They say the longer you breastfeed, the higher IQ the child has and the less chance I have of getting breast cancer and ovarian cancer.
- Higher immunity for baby for life! Can't beat that!
- Mommy weight loss!! Yay! In 9 days I am 17 pounds down, nearly half of my baby weight gain. I haven't exercised one bit, not even my usual walks (at first was too sore then the northeast got a killer heat wave), and have eaten pretty much whatever I want. This rocks!
Honestly I love it. And I have been blessed by the boob gods that I happen to have an over-supply of milk! I haven't even opened my breast pump yet, and yet I have approximately 60 oz of milk sitting in my freezer already. At first in the first few days when I fed her I noticed the other boob leaking a lot. Soon it became unbearable as I would have to change my shirt each time and couldn't go out in public or see visitors because it was just nonstop leaking. Then I found a product (thanks to my friend Corey!) Called Milkies Milk savers. It is truly the best. There is no hand expressing or pumping involved, its a little plastic thing you wear in your bra and its only job is to collect leaked milk. And I have 60 oz just from that. Every feeding I do (approx 8-10 a day), I get 2-2.5 oz from the other breast. I am looking into donating at this time but am looking at all options as we tread soon into waters where we will see what supply she will need when I will have to go to work. At this point though we need to go get another freezer lol...
I also think watching her breastfeed is the cutest/funniest thing on the planet. Here are the stages of breastfeeding I notice:
- Tears in the degree of she thinks she may starve to death if she doesn't eat right now (Mommy gets the same way lol)
- She latches on as if she's attacking a gigantic cheeseburger and she is ravenous. You can literally see it in her eyes she is so happy she has food now. She grips on to the boob as if someone may take it.
- two minutes later she forgets what she came there for, mommy has to remind her.
- She remembers and is vigorously back at the boob.
- Falls asleep at the boob. I keep reminding her that classy ladies don't fall asleep at the bar but she doesn't listen lol.
- back and forth between remembering she's at the boob and sleep until finally she finishes off the tap and goes into milk drunk coma. Success.
Sleeping! Ahhhhhhh sleep. So my husband and I are lucky enough that he was able to get off for two weeks to be with me as we transition as new parents. We truly have no idea what we are doing but we came up with the idea of "shift parenting" (its probably in a book out there somewhere but whatev). So we do this shift parenting at night time, usually between the hours of 9pm- 9 am. One person goes to bed around 9 pm and the other parent stays up with her til approx 12-1 am. If I am sleeping first, then hubby brings me baby to eat and I go back to sleep til my "shift" starts. If hubby sleeps first then I just hang with her and feed on demand of course. Then the first duty parent comes to bed and Abby does too. The next parent is "on" and will handle any fussiness, diaper changes and coordinate the feedings until approximately 4-5 am. So if that person is me, hubby gets a nice block of sleep, and if that person is hubby, he handles all the others and brings her to me to eat in bed and supervises me so I don't fall asleep and then tucks her back in. This system has worked out really nicely for us as it allows at least one of us if not both to get at least a solid 3-4 hour chunk of sleep at a time. Things will change when hubby goes back to work soon, and we haven't quite solidified a plan for that yet but are working out some ideas. But I highly recommend this pattern to new parents! Especially if breastfeeding. Otherwise, sometimes we sleep when baby sleeps. But usually one parent is awake at all times during the day if the other needs a nap.
How are mommy and daddy doing otherwise? Pretty good. Considering. The hardest part that I can speak to as a mom, is the raging hormones flip flopping all over the place and the baby blues that come and go as a result. I love her more than words could ever say, but the mix of being sleep deprived and the monotonous routine of diaper change, feed, sleep, repeat, gets boring and exhausting. Being tied up in the house but also afraid to take trips out in fear of what could happen outside the house too. Yesterday, Day 8 I had my first random (totally totally random) bout of tears for literally no reason. Everything was fine but I was overtired and couldn't find a lunch option I liked lol. But I know it gets better. I still soak in all of these moments and cuddles and every moment I have with her because she is already growing so fast and I love every single second.
All in all, like I said these are just my experiences. Everything I say could be completely different for another family or another mom. Hopefully some of my tips however can help another family though!
With that I will leave you, thank you to those that took the time to read a super long post! Unless a unique topic pops into my head, I plan to write next on how Month #1 has gone! Looking forward to lots of lessons coming soon!
Love, the new Motherboard.
Friday, August 31, 2018
Saturday, August 25, 2018
Your Entrance into the World
Hello!!!
So our little princess is finally HERE! She is absolutely precious. It's already been a very interesting journey!!
So I'd like to share my birth story, not only for documentation purposes to remember it but also to help anyone else heading into a same situation! LONG POST, sorry!
So we found out on Tuesday AM that our induction was scheduled for the following day at 7 am. Apparently there was a lapse in communication and we weren't notified sooner, so we had about 24 hours to prepare. This was fine anyway, as 24 hours notice was better than labor starting and rushing to the hospital anyway! We spent our last hours doing last minute housework, running errands, went out to dinner and dessert, etc. Unfortunately my anxiety about the impending day was getting the best of me and was manifesting itself as severe nausea and a bad headache so we didn't get to do much. I tried relaxing as much as possible and was almost successful til the hospital called around 9 pm and asked where we were! Apparently there was another lapse in communication between the office and the hospital in scheduling. So that ramped up my anxiety again. Luckily we were able to still wait until the next morning to go in, but I was a nervous wreck still. I think we both got maybe 4 hours of sleep, if that. We ate in the morning and off we went to the hospital to have a baby!!
So we check in to the hospital at 7 am. Our first 2-3 hours was spent doing paperwork, answering admission questions, being hooked up to monitors, etc. I think that maybe our princess waited so long to come because she wanted mommy to try out some new technology at the hospital! We were about 1 of 7 moms that got to help the hospital trial new fetal monitoring technology, called Novii. It is a bluetooth enabled wireless fetal monitoring system. There were little patches that stayed on me and a little battery pack ( so my stomach kept lighting up hehe), and I was allowed to freely go to the bathroom, walk around our room, go in hallway (up to 100 feet) and all still be monitored on the system. It was surreal being able to see my contractions happening in real time in the hallway as we watched on the hallway monitors! My doctor was excited about it as she was able to monitor me from the physician office as I labored and never had to be unhooked! The freedom during labor was definitely excellent and I am glad I got to trial it!
In the AM I was still 3 cm, what I had been for over a week at that point. I was having lots of contractions on the monitors but I wasn't feeling them. I joked (shouldn't have) that if contractions were this easy, we could have 10 kids. That was not a good idea to test the labor waters lol!
At 0945 we got started on what is called Pitocin, the synthetic version of the bodies natural hormone called Oxytocin which helps the uterus contract. I was nervous about starting the Pitocin as I had heard that it makes contractions so much worse. But, that's kind of the whole point of an induction so I had to do it! Well, come around 11 am or so the pitocin had been increased a few times already. I was having more and more contractions on the monitor but still wasn't feeling them. Again I thought, hah this is great. Maybe I have a rare condition where I don't feel labor contractions, lol. Hah. Hah.
Around 1 pm, they came in to check my cervix and I was still at 3cm. So it was time to artificially break my water. I was like okay cool, lets get this show on the road. Breaking the water didn't hurt at all, was just slightly uncomfortable in a weird way. But let me tell you, approximately not even 2 minutes after I was finished with that, first "real" contraction came. BOOM.
I was like, ooh okay that hurt, quite a bit, but I can do this. Lets get that deep breathing started and all that jazz. Second, third, fourth one came, all pretty close together. It was getting pretty apparent that I didn't have that rare condition where I didn't feel contractions!! They were now super painful. The nurse suggested I walk around, so we got up and walked around room. I was soon doubled over either looking out our window on the window sill, or doubled over a chair, or we also tried the "slow dance" move (not as effective). I know they have all these other tools like the birthing ball, jacuzzi, etc, but at the moment all I could even think about was surviving and staying close to that chair! They were coming so fast and so close together that I had about 60-90 seconds in between each one. So not much rest time to recoup from the last contraction before the next one started. My husband asked what it felt like and the best thing I can come up with is a Tasmanian devil being in my abdomen doing cartwheels, with knives. And squeezing everything I have in me, with those knives.
Let me just say my husband also tried to make me laugh, and he almost got punched lol. Maybe I would have if I could gather the strength in between contractions!!
The lamaze breathing we learned was maybe 30% helpful. It honestly hurt so much, most of my breathing was half tear crying coming out instead. But it did help to try. I think the best coping mechanism was scratching the chair I was white knuckled holding on to...poor chair. But it survived. For some reason causing the chair pain during my pain helped transfer some of that pain....maybe?
Anyway, around 2 pm or so I decided I can't do this, NOPE. Not cut out for this whole natural birth thing. No can do. Nope. So I requested the epidural. Unfortunately, like I knew was a risk, the anesthesiologist was tied up at the moment but would get there as soon as possible. Waiting that time period was likely the worst of it all, as my body had already given in knowing in relief was coming but it wasn't here yet.
He got in the room about 2:45 and I had to sit still on the side of the bed which may have been the hardest part of it all. I was practically hugging the nurse sitting in front of me as I had to lean forward to get the epidural. From what I had heard mixed opinions of epidurals, I was only expecting a pinch when the numbing needle went in. Nope. Not true for me! At one point he warned me that I would feel a "twinge" in my leg and not to worry. He should have warned me it may instead feel like my leg was being electrocuted, that was more accurate. I yelped in reaction and he had to pause for me to stay still, and that was super hard.
Eventually the epidural was done. I of course have never had one so I am testing all the waters, I am moving my toes and I'm like MY TOES, I STILL FEEL THOSE TOES IS IT WORKING?!
It was. Apparently my other inaccurate vision of epidurals was that it was like a lightswitch and the contractions just "turned off". Not true. I had about 5-6 more very painful contractions after the epidural and I then thought, maybe I have a rare condition where epidurals don't work for me. MY TOES AFTER ALL ARE STILL MOVING. But alas, each contraction started getting more manageable. My toes never lost feeling, but slowly I found I couldn't move my legs anymore.
After all that pain from the previous 2 hours, all I could literally do at that point was stare at the ceiling, not moving a single muscle as I was so thankful for the pain to be gone and I didn't want to move anything that could make it come back. I fell into a little bit of sleep for about 45 minutes. I woke up and it felt like I woke up in a whole new world. My husband was in the bathroom at the time so I was alone and it felt like Rick waking up in The Walking Dead from his coma. It was surreal. All I could do was look around the room, since my legs wouldn't enable me to even reposition or do anything else.
Around 4:00 pm or so the resident and nurse came in to see how far my cervix had progressed. I was expecting to be around 5-6 cm. I still anticipated having a baby overnight or the following morning after all. Well, she's all up in me and she's like, "So, we are at 9 cm. We're gonna have a baby soon!" and although I couldn't move my legs, at that point I felt like I couldn't move my voice box either. I was like NINE?!! NINE!?! NO WONDER I felt like I was about to keel over on the floor. I went 6 cm in 3 hours!!!
So we texted my mom who got there pretty soon after and also texted my husbands parents that baby could be here soon.
My husband, mom and I chilled in the room together as we observed the nurse calmly but also in a rush get together the delivery cart. All I could think was, supposedly I'm NINE cm and could have a baby very very soon, and it just felt surreal. Despite the 2 hours of severe pain, it all felt too easy and quick!
About 5:30 or so, my doctor arrived and checked my cervix. I was 9.5cm. She nonchalantly, which was weird, was like, "so do you want to try some pushing?" and I am like, uh, yes? I don't know? You tell me! But apparently it was my choice so I was like, okay let's do it.
I did a "practice push", but apparently I'm a very effective pusher because all the sudden everyone in the room was like baby is crowning!!! I'm like, what! I guess they weren't expecting that because all the sudden like 8 more people are in the room and my nurse is calling NICU that we are about to deliver. It was unreal.
I did two more pushing sessions and the babies head kept moving down. Then the room stress started changing as the doctors were watching the monitors and I wasn't allowed to push. They had me wear oxygen and I had to take deep breaths, but weren't telling me what was going on. The doctor said they are going to have to use the vacuum to get her out, and I'm like seriously? We've pushed like 3 times! She went over the risks of using a vacuum but I'm like, what choice do I have, just do it! (In retrospect, the doctor explained that the baby had a very short umbilical cord and when she started descending she was pulling on her cord and her heart rate was dropping, so she had to be rushed out). Scary!
So we were allowed to push then and I had a whole team cheerleading me on which was very helpful, as with the epidural it was really hard to tell if I was doing anything. All I could do which felt helpful was I tried to visualize the baby moving outward as I pushed.
And then, all of the sudden it felt like a slippery fish had left my body and I heard crying! They put her right on me and I was crying to! Thank the gods she was completely healthy right off the bat and we immediately started skin to skin, after my husband got to cut the cord. It was truly surreal seeing her for the first time, as my husband and mom and I are all crying and here I was, staring at the baby that was just inside of me!!
So that my friends was my labor! She passed all of her immediate tests with flying colors! We did skin to skin for 2 hours and let me just say, I LOVE doing skin to skin with her. She weighs 7 lbs 15oz and is 19 inches. The doctors worked on my "downstairs", delivering the placenta and repairing my tear.
Knowing my story, and how my body was going to react and how it would all go down, the only thing I would have changed was request the epidural right before they broke water or shortly after. Going from 3-9 cm in 3 hours was an impossible task for anyone and I was not expecting that. I think maybe, MAYBE, MAYBE, I could have attempted a natural birth if I had broken water naturally and slowly progressed into labor, but I can't say that for sure. This was just 0 to 100 in 2 seconds and I couldn't deal. But there is no shame in getting the epidural! Only side effect I had from it was as it wore off closer to 8-9pm, it felt like ants were crawling all over my back and abdomen and I was uncontrollably itchy. And also very nauseous. They had to move me to my recovery room but decided to wait as my blood pressure dropped a little, I lost all my color and had the extreme nausea. So I got extra fluids and rest and was able to move around 11.
So far baby, husband and I are doing well and we are home. Soon I will next write about how our first couple of days have been together, there have been LOTS of lessons already learned that I can't wait to share.
Life is such a blessing and it is surreal having one in my arms. She is already our entire world and she is worth every pain, every headache, every cramp, every day of waiting.
With Love,
The New Motherboard.
So our little princess is finally HERE! She is absolutely precious. It's already been a very interesting journey!!
So I'd like to share my birth story, not only for documentation purposes to remember it but also to help anyone else heading into a same situation! LONG POST, sorry!
So we found out on Tuesday AM that our induction was scheduled for the following day at 7 am. Apparently there was a lapse in communication and we weren't notified sooner, so we had about 24 hours to prepare. This was fine anyway, as 24 hours notice was better than labor starting and rushing to the hospital anyway! We spent our last hours doing last minute housework, running errands, went out to dinner and dessert, etc. Unfortunately my anxiety about the impending day was getting the best of me and was manifesting itself as severe nausea and a bad headache so we didn't get to do much. I tried relaxing as much as possible and was almost successful til the hospital called around 9 pm and asked where we were! Apparently there was another lapse in communication between the office and the hospital in scheduling. So that ramped up my anxiety again. Luckily we were able to still wait until the next morning to go in, but I was a nervous wreck still. I think we both got maybe 4 hours of sleep, if that. We ate in the morning and off we went to the hospital to have a baby!!
So we check in to the hospital at 7 am. Our first 2-3 hours was spent doing paperwork, answering admission questions, being hooked up to monitors, etc. I think that maybe our princess waited so long to come because she wanted mommy to try out some new technology at the hospital! We were about 1 of 7 moms that got to help the hospital trial new fetal monitoring technology, called Novii. It is a bluetooth enabled wireless fetal monitoring system. There were little patches that stayed on me and a little battery pack ( so my stomach kept lighting up hehe), and I was allowed to freely go to the bathroom, walk around our room, go in hallway (up to 100 feet) and all still be monitored on the system. It was surreal being able to see my contractions happening in real time in the hallway as we watched on the hallway monitors! My doctor was excited about it as she was able to monitor me from the physician office as I labored and never had to be unhooked! The freedom during labor was definitely excellent and I am glad I got to trial it!
In the AM I was still 3 cm, what I had been for over a week at that point. I was having lots of contractions on the monitors but I wasn't feeling them. I joked (shouldn't have) that if contractions were this easy, we could have 10 kids. That was not a good idea to test the labor waters lol!
At 0945 we got started on what is called Pitocin, the synthetic version of the bodies natural hormone called Oxytocin which helps the uterus contract. I was nervous about starting the Pitocin as I had heard that it makes contractions so much worse. But, that's kind of the whole point of an induction so I had to do it! Well, come around 11 am or so the pitocin had been increased a few times already. I was having more and more contractions on the monitor but still wasn't feeling them. Again I thought, hah this is great. Maybe I have a rare condition where I don't feel labor contractions, lol. Hah. Hah.
Around 1 pm, they came in to check my cervix and I was still at 3cm. So it was time to artificially break my water. I was like okay cool, lets get this show on the road. Breaking the water didn't hurt at all, was just slightly uncomfortable in a weird way. But let me tell you, approximately not even 2 minutes after I was finished with that, first "real" contraction came. BOOM.
I was like, ooh okay that hurt, quite a bit, but I can do this. Lets get that deep breathing started and all that jazz. Second, third, fourth one came, all pretty close together. It was getting pretty apparent that I didn't have that rare condition where I didn't feel contractions!! They were now super painful. The nurse suggested I walk around, so we got up and walked around room. I was soon doubled over either looking out our window on the window sill, or doubled over a chair, or we also tried the "slow dance" move (not as effective). I know they have all these other tools like the birthing ball, jacuzzi, etc, but at the moment all I could even think about was surviving and staying close to that chair! They were coming so fast and so close together that I had about 60-90 seconds in between each one. So not much rest time to recoup from the last contraction before the next one started. My husband asked what it felt like and the best thing I can come up with is a Tasmanian devil being in my abdomen doing cartwheels, with knives. And squeezing everything I have in me, with those knives.
Let me just say my husband also tried to make me laugh, and he almost got punched lol. Maybe I would have if I could gather the strength in between contractions!!
The lamaze breathing we learned was maybe 30% helpful. It honestly hurt so much, most of my breathing was half tear crying coming out instead. But it did help to try. I think the best coping mechanism was scratching the chair I was white knuckled holding on to...poor chair. But it survived. For some reason causing the chair pain during my pain helped transfer some of that pain....maybe?
Anyway, around 2 pm or so I decided I can't do this, NOPE. Not cut out for this whole natural birth thing. No can do. Nope. So I requested the epidural. Unfortunately, like I knew was a risk, the anesthesiologist was tied up at the moment but would get there as soon as possible. Waiting that time period was likely the worst of it all, as my body had already given in knowing in relief was coming but it wasn't here yet.
He got in the room about 2:45 and I had to sit still on the side of the bed which may have been the hardest part of it all. I was practically hugging the nurse sitting in front of me as I had to lean forward to get the epidural. From what I had heard mixed opinions of epidurals, I was only expecting a pinch when the numbing needle went in. Nope. Not true for me! At one point he warned me that I would feel a "twinge" in my leg and not to worry. He should have warned me it may instead feel like my leg was being electrocuted, that was more accurate. I yelped in reaction and he had to pause for me to stay still, and that was super hard.
Eventually the epidural was done. I of course have never had one so I am testing all the waters, I am moving my toes and I'm like MY TOES, I STILL FEEL THOSE TOES IS IT WORKING?!
It was. Apparently my other inaccurate vision of epidurals was that it was like a lightswitch and the contractions just "turned off". Not true. I had about 5-6 more very painful contractions after the epidural and I then thought, maybe I have a rare condition where epidurals don't work for me. MY TOES AFTER ALL ARE STILL MOVING. But alas, each contraction started getting more manageable. My toes never lost feeling, but slowly I found I couldn't move my legs anymore.
After all that pain from the previous 2 hours, all I could literally do at that point was stare at the ceiling, not moving a single muscle as I was so thankful for the pain to be gone and I didn't want to move anything that could make it come back. I fell into a little bit of sleep for about 45 minutes. I woke up and it felt like I woke up in a whole new world. My husband was in the bathroom at the time so I was alone and it felt like Rick waking up in The Walking Dead from his coma. It was surreal. All I could do was look around the room, since my legs wouldn't enable me to even reposition or do anything else.
Around 4:00 pm or so the resident and nurse came in to see how far my cervix had progressed. I was expecting to be around 5-6 cm. I still anticipated having a baby overnight or the following morning after all. Well, she's all up in me and she's like, "So, we are at 9 cm. We're gonna have a baby soon!" and although I couldn't move my legs, at that point I felt like I couldn't move my voice box either. I was like NINE?!! NINE!?! NO WONDER I felt like I was about to keel over on the floor. I went 6 cm in 3 hours!!!
So we texted my mom who got there pretty soon after and also texted my husbands parents that baby could be here soon.
My husband, mom and I chilled in the room together as we observed the nurse calmly but also in a rush get together the delivery cart. All I could think was, supposedly I'm NINE cm and could have a baby very very soon, and it just felt surreal. Despite the 2 hours of severe pain, it all felt too easy and quick!
About 5:30 or so, my doctor arrived and checked my cervix. I was 9.5cm. She nonchalantly, which was weird, was like, "so do you want to try some pushing?" and I am like, uh, yes? I don't know? You tell me! But apparently it was my choice so I was like, okay let's do it.
I did a "practice push", but apparently I'm a very effective pusher because all the sudden everyone in the room was like baby is crowning!!! I'm like, what! I guess they weren't expecting that because all the sudden like 8 more people are in the room and my nurse is calling NICU that we are about to deliver. It was unreal.
I did two more pushing sessions and the babies head kept moving down. Then the room stress started changing as the doctors were watching the monitors and I wasn't allowed to push. They had me wear oxygen and I had to take deep breaths, but weren't telling me what was going on. The doctor said they are going to have to use the vacuum to get her out, and I'm like seriously? We've pushed like 3 times! She went over the risks of using a vacuum but I'm like, what choice do I have, just do it! (In retrospect, the doctor explained that the baby had a very short umbilical cord and when she started descending she was pulling on her cord and her heart rate was dropping, so she had to be rushed out). Scary!
So we were allowed to push then and I had a whole team cheerleading me on which was very helpful, as with the epidural it was really hard to tell if I was doing anything. All I could do which felt helpful was I tried to visualize the baby moving outward as I pushed.
And then, all of the sudden it felt like a slippery fish had left my body and I heard crying! They put her right on me and I was crying to! Thank the gods she was completely healthy right off the bat and we immediately started skin to skin, after my husband got to cut the cord. It was truly surreal seeing her for the first time, as my husband and mom and I are all crying and here I was, staring at the baby that was just inside of me!!
So that my friends was my labor! She passed all of her immediate tests with flying colors! We did skin to skin for 2 hours and let me just say, I LOVE doing skin to skin with her. She weighs 7 lbs 15oz and is 19 inches. The doctors worked on my "downstairs", delivering the placenta and repairing my tear.
Knowing my story, and how my body was going to react and how it would all go down, the only thing I would have changed was request the epidural right before they broke water or shortly after. Going from 3-9 cm in 3 hours was an impossible task for anyone and I was not expecting that. I think maybe, MAYBE, MAYBE, I could have attempted a natural birth if I had broken water naturally and slowly progressed into labor, but I can't say that for sure. This was just 0 to 100 in 2 seconds and I couldn't deal. But there is no shame in getting the epidural! Only side effect I had from it was as it wore off closer to 8-9pm, it felt like ants were crawling all over my back and abdomen and I was uncontrollably itchy. And also very nauseous. They had to move me to my recovery room but decided to wait as my blood pressure dropped a little, I lost all my color and had the extreme nausea. So I got extra fluids and rest and was able to move around 11.
So far baby, husband and I are doing well and we are home. Soon I will next write about how our first couple of days have been together, there have been LOTS of lessons already learned that I can't wait to share.
Life is such a blessing and it is surreal having one in my arms. She is already our entire world and she is worth every pain, every headache, every cramp, every day of waiting.
With Love,
The New Motherboard.
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Centuries of Waiting
Well, Here we are at 40 weeks exactly tomorrow. I know that means I've literally just hit the due date and that we aren't past it...yet....but it still feels like we've been waiting forever. Especially when you read those dang Internet forums where other women in your due date bracket have had their babies for weeks now. I know its unrealistic to expect that and that waiting til the due date means she's all the more healthy and all that...but.....ahhhhhhhh.
I'm slightly convinced she's started painting the womb walls, put up shelves, got some womb decor, signed a lease....etc. I'm also slightly convinced that if I got on a cruise ship right now, it might sink.
I've had so many "visions" or predictions, or feelings, of how I thought labor was gonna start, and this little girl has defied every one of them. So we already know about her that she has a very stubborn personality, she's mysterious, has a mind of her own and she knows what she wants! Okay then. Leo girl it is. (Lets friggen hope so because we looked it up last night and the next horoscope Virgo starts August 23rd. She better be here by then!
I get it 100%. I KNOW and fully realize and I can literally feel all the moms out there with newborns, infants, screaming toddlers, etc., that these days are the best. They are the very last days I have of silence, sleep, peace, 1:1 time with my husband, etc. I get it. I know. I've heard it all. And I appreciate them so much, I really try. I really do. In fact I know that within my own SELF that I will look back on these days and wish that I had them back in just a few short weeks. I get that too! But at some point, you are just ready to get on with the next chapter, you know? I know things are about to get crazy challenging and words will be said in exhaustion that aren't meant and sleep will be a thing of the past, I know all this. But we are both 30 years old. We have wanted this baby and have tried for it since literally our wedding night (almost 3 years ago). We literally upgraded the size of our house and got a typical colonial last year in preparation for being able to start a family. We have planned for it and we are ready to just get that chapter started. We enjoyed our 20s so much, went on tons of vacations around the country, hundreds of concerts, date nights, etc. We are just so ready to welcome her into this home and get that chapter started.
I also get that she will come out when she's ready. If I had a penny for every time I've heard that within the last month, we could send a decent fund to her college savings account by now. I know she will come out when she is ready and I do not want to force that on her. But.....I wish I could ask her, is there anything you'd like mommy to do to help you be ready? Are you waiting on something I can do for you? The time is now, kid, let's get this show on the road! The exit sign is "down there"! Oye.
Things I have tried and obviously have had no effect:
- I ate tons of pineapple. Which, I really thought would work because around 35 weeks I had a hefty serving of it for lunch and did not know it could cause contractions, and we were in triage that night with contractions (but obviously sent home).
- Been drinking 3-4 tea bags worth of red raspberry leaf tea per day. Sometimes this makes me feel crampy while I drink it but no more excitement beyond that.
- We walk, a LOT. We walk approximately 1 mile, about 3-5 times per week. Its hard with the August Northeast weather (its either hot as h*ll or its monsooning this summer), but we try as often as we can or go to the local mall to walk.
- We got a yoga gym bouncy ball that I bounce on, circulate my hips on, you name it. Which is hilarious because my 12 lb dog thinks this ball is the antichrist and literally shakes in fear when she she's the ball. It's a little absurd.
- I really have never had a tolerance for spicy food ever, but I went and got the spiciest I could handle (literally the chicken at chipotle lol- childs play spice for most of you), and that did nothing.
- I meditated a lot. Nothing.
- I laid down in silence and had a heart to heart with the womb and tried telling her its okay to come out. Nothing.
BUT things I've accomplished in waiting:
-2 1000 piece puzzles. I seriously love puzzles but c'mon, there's only so much puzzling you can do.
-almost finished with my cross stitch piece I started in January! (It's big!)
- Organized every closet I could think of in this house.
- Put together a pack in play.
- Read a lot of information and books about parenting and welcoming babies written by pediatricians. I know this may be overkill, but I hate walking into something and just winging it. Big presentation at work next week? I prepare and practice as much as I possibly can. Big text next week? I study as much as I can. I hate "winging it", and I know we totally still will wing it, and this kid won't fit into what the textbooks say, but still, to me, it can't hurt to at least try and learn what to do when she's here.
Speaking of textbooks, I have thought of a few things that they do NOT tell you about in health class regarding pregnancy! Granted I have been through nursing school which has included a maternity class, but lets just say I didn't do great in that class...
- You have total permission to think less of me and that's fine, but for a huge portion of my life I thought pregnancy was 36 weeks. I mean, I've always learned its 9 months. There's 4 weeks in a month, and 4X9 is 36. When I then heard that its actually 40 weeks I am like what??? That's 10 months! Why don't they heavily advertise that! Granted I knew about this before we conceived but I was still shocked to learn I felt I've been tricked my whole life. And that's if the baby comes on time! Whats with this possibility of 41-42 weeks nonsense!!!
- mucous plug. WHAT! Man if they showed that to the kids in health class in high school, pregnancy rates would have to drop significantly. I lost mine about a week ago and MAN. I thought that was definitely an alien substance. And I'm a nurse! Therefore I thought it was fascinating, but many people would not think the same.
- Apparently only 15% of women have their water break! What is this! We live in a culture where all the movies we see, the pregnant woman's water ALWAYS breaks. Not just breaks, but its usually this epic scene of gushing waterfalls coming out. But apparently this is definitely not the case. Nope. Only 15% of women are "lucky" enough to get that epic sign that they are definitely in labor. The rest of us get to play the game of "Is this a fake contraction or a real contraction?" or the game of "lets go to triage again for 4 hours and get sent home". It's terribly fun.
Well thank you for reading all, I hope I've made some of you giggle here and there. It really is terribly funny and at this point all I can do is laugh about it otherwise I'll go crazy. And I know its just the beginning. We go to the doctor in a few hours and I hope that we hear of some progress!!!! Last week I was 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced so WHERE is she? Let's hope maybe we will have a baby tomorrow on her due date. If that's the case, at least we know we have a kid that can follow directions!
With love,
The New Motherboard <3
PS my next blog is going to be our birth story! No If's ands or buts!
I'm slightly convinced she's started painting the womb walls, put up shelves, got some womb decor, signed a lease....etc. I'm also slightly convinced that if I got on a cruise ship right now, it might sink.
I've had so many "visions" or predictions, or feelings, of how I thought labor was gonna start, and this little girl has defied every one of them. So we already know about her that she has a very stubborn personality, she's mysterious, has a mind of her own and she knows what she wants! Okay then. Leo girl it is. (Lets friggen hope so because we looked it up last night and the next horoscope Virgo starts August 23rd. She better be here by then!
I get it 100%. I KNOW and fully realize and I can literally feel all the moms out there with newborns, infants, screaming toddlers, etc., that these days are the best. They are the very last days I have of silence, sleep, peace, 1:1 time with my husband, etc. I get it. I know. I've heard it all. And I appreciate them so much, I really try. I really do. In fact I know that within my own SELF that I will look back on these days and wish that I had them back in just a few short weeks. I get that too! But at some point, you are just ready to get on with the next chapter, you know? I know things are about to get crazy challenging and words will be said in exhaustion that aren't meant and sleep will be a thing of the past, I know all this. But we are both 30 years old. We have wanted this baby and have tried for it since literally our wedding night (almost 3 years ago). We literally upgraded the size of our house and got a typical colonial last year in preparation for being able to start a family. We have planned for it and we are ready to just get that chapter started. We enjoyed our 20s so much, went on tons of vacations around the country, hundreds of concerts, date nights, etc. We are just so ready to welcome her into this home and get that chapter started.
I also get that she will come out when she's ready. If I had a penny for every time I've heard that within the last month, we could send a decent fund to her college savings account by now. I know she will come out when she is ready and I do not want to force that on her. But.....I wish I could ask her, is there anything you'd like mommy to do to help you be ready? Are you waiting on something I can do for you? The time is now, kid, let's get this show on the road! The exit sign is "down there"! Oye.
Things I have tried and obviously have had no effect:
- I ate tons of pineapple. Which, I really thought would work because around 35 weeks I had a hefty serving of it for lunch and did not know it could cause contractions, and we were in triage that night with contractions (but obviously sent home).
- Been drinking 3-4 tea bags worth of red raspberry leaf tea per day. Sometimes this makes me feel crampy while I drink it but no more excitement beyond that.
- We walk, a LOT. We walk approximately 1 mile, about 3-5 times per week. Its hard with the August Northeast weather (its either hot as h*ll or its monsooning this summer), but we try as often as we can or go to the local mall to walk.
- We got a yoga gym bouncy ball that I bounce on, circulate my hips on, you name it. Which is hilarious because my 12 lb dog thinks this ball is the antichrist and literally shakes in fear when she she's the ball. It's a little absurd.
- I really have never had a tolerance for spicy food ever, but I went and got the spiciest I could handle (literally the chicken at chipotle lol- childs play spice for most of you), and that did nothing.
- I meditated a lot. Nothing.
- I laid down in silence and had a heart to heart with the womb and tried telling her its okay to come out. Nothing.
BUT things I've accomplished in waiting:
-2 1000 piece puzzles. I seriously love puzzles but c'mon, there's only so much puzzling you can do.
-almost finished with my cross stitch piece I started in January! (It's big!)
- Organized every closet I could think of in this house.
- Put together a pack in play.
- Read a lot of information and books about parenting and welcoming babies written by pediatricians. I know this may be overkill, but I hate walking into something and just winging it. Big presentation at work next week? I prepare and practice as much as I possibly can. Big text next week? I study as much as I can. I hate "winging it", and I know we totally still will wing it, and this kid won't fit into what the textbooks say, but still, to me, it can't hurt to at least try and learn what to do when she's here.
Speaking of textbooks, I have thought of a few things that they do NOT tell you about in health class regarding pregnancy! Granted I have been through nursing school which has included a maternity class, but lets just say I didn't do great in that class...
- You have total permission to think less of me and that's fine, but for a huge portion of my life I thought pregnancy was 36 weeks. I mean, I've always learned its 9 months. There's 4 weeks in a month, and 4X9 is 36. When I then heard that its actually 40 weeks I am like what??? That's 10 months! Why don't they heavily advertise that! Granted I knew about this before we conceived but I was still shocked to learn I felt I've been tricked my whole life. And that's if the baby comes on time! Whats with this possibility of 41-42 weeks nonsense!!!
- mucous plug. WHAT! Man if they showed that to the kids in health class in high school, pregnancy rates would have to drop significantly. I lost mine about a week ago and MAN. I thought that was definitely an alien substance. And I'm a nurse! Therefore I thought it was fascinating, but many people would not think the same.
- Apparently only 15% of women have their water break! What is this! We live in a culture where all the movies we see, the pregnant woman's water ALWAYS breaks. Not just breaks, but its usually this epic scene of gushing waterfalls coming out. But apparently this is definitely not the case. Nope. Only 15% of women are "lucky" enough to get that epic sign that they are definitely in labor. The rest of us get to play the game of "Is this a fake contraction or a real contraction?" or the game of "lets go to triage again for 4 hours and get sent home". It's terribly fun.
Well thank you for reading all, I hope I've made some of you giggle here and there. It really is terribly funny and at this point all I can do is laugh about it otherwise I'll go crazy. And I know its just the beginning. We go to the doctor in a few hours and I hope that we hear of some progress!!!! Last week I was 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced so WHERE is she? Let's hope maybe we will have a baby tomorrow on her due date. If that's the case, at least we know we have a kid that can follow directions!
With love,
The New Motherboard <3
PS my next blog is going to be our birth story! No If's ands or buts!
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