The Summer Train

Tonight, my grandma came to visit my daughter and I from Heaven. And I have to get it all out paper before the experience leaves me.

Do you ever have memories that just stick with you forever, and ever? Not traumatic or exciting memories, nothing particular happens, but for some reason you will always just remember just being there, the sights, the smells, the sounds?

When I was a small child, I don’t remember quite how old, but I am guessing around 7-8 ish, I was on a trip with my mother to visit my grandma and grandpa in North Carolina. My grandparents had let my Mom and I have their master bedroom during our stay and so my Mom and I shared the bed. What I specifically remember vividly to this day is waking up the next morning. It was a summer morning, before dawn, and my mom was still sleeping. The bed was positioned in a way where the headboard was up against a wall where there were two windows just up above us. I laid there, looking around. The morning light was just barely starting to poke through the room, giving that glowy peaceful look that kind of bounced off the colors already in the room (carpet, walls) to make this sort of light green sense throughout the room. A breeze entered above us, just gracefully embracing our cheeks, just enough to enjoy curling up under those morning warm covers. The air smelled of that early morning summer smell, like dew and grass cuttings. It was absolutely silent outside besides what seemed like hundred morning birds talking to each other through the trees behind their house. But what really seals the memory together, is I heard a train in the nearby distance. For some reason, on top of all the other beautiful senses in that moment, hearing the sound of the train horn and on off in that early morning was just absolutely peaceful to me. I fell back asleep curled up in the covers listening to the birds and the train, feeling the breeze on my cheeks, smelling the morning dew, and for some reason, that memory has stayed with me forever. It has always been a memory of peace and one I will always think about in relation to my grandma who has passed away.

My grandma had passed away in 2011, and since then I have had moments where I knew she was near and watching over me. But she has many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to watch over so I consider it a true blessing when she stops by to see us from Heaven.

Tonight, I went to put Abby to bed. I was nursing her in a rocking chair right next to an open window. We’ve been struggling trying to get Abbys nursery to an acceptable baby-safe temperature, so we have been trying to keep the windows open in the nursery when we know the weather will be stable overnight. So we sat there, with her in my arms, next to the open window. And the first thing I noticed, looking down at her nursing, is the green light. Our nursery curtains are a light green, teal almost. The dusk light after sunlight was fading fast but was just enough to shine through those curtains and create a green hazy glow around us. Looking at that green haze hit her beautiful blue eyes was something I want to remember the rest of my life. Then I noticed the breeze gracefully entering through the window, pushing the curtains slightly toward us occasionally hitting my arm. I also heard birds out the window chirping as they settled in for the night. It’s a beautiful summer night, mid-sixty degrees, and the air just smelled of a jar full of summer. And I thought, this seems a lot like that memory waking up at my grandmas. The light, the sounds, the smell, the feeling, the peace. The only addition was seeing my daughters wondrous bright blue eyes looking up at me as she nursed, and her fingers wrapping around my finger. And I speculated that maybe, just MAYBE this was my grandma coming in to say hello to let me know she was in the room and with Abby and I. But who ever really knows?

But then, I heard it. A train horn sounded at a nearby distance.

We have a train near our house but even though we have been here for 2 years, I have never noticed a specific pattern with when the train comes, although I’ve heard it before. It just seems to come randomly. But the sound of the train sounds to be the exact distance away as when I heard it many years ago on that early morning. That on and off sound of the train horn with the train hitting the tracks in between.

That was when I knew. My grandma was definitely here and saying hello to Abby and I, letting us know she was here and maybe might even stay the night. I said hello, I missed her, thank you for visiting and for giving me that experience, and I let Abby know her great grandma was here too.
Goodnight Abby, Goodnight Grandma in Heaven, Goodnight World.

Love, the new Motherboard. <3