Well, Here we are at 40 weeks exactly tomorrow. I know that means I've literally just hit the due date and that we aren't past it...yet....but it still feels like we've been waiting forever. Especially when you read those dang Internet forums where other women in your due date bracket have had their babies for weeks now. I know its unrealistic to expect that and that waiting til the due date means she's all the more healthy and all that...but.....ahhhhhhhh.
I'm slightly convinced she's started painting the womb walls, put up shelves, got some womb decor, signed a lease....etc. I'm also slightly convinced that if I got on a cruise ship right now, it might sink.
I've had so many "visions" or predictions, or feelings, of how I thought labor was gonna start, and this little girl has defied every one of them. So we already know about her that she has a very stubborn personality, she's mysterious, has a mind of her own and she knows what she wants! Okay then. Leo girl it is. (Lets friggen hope so because we looked it up last night and the next horoscope Virgo starts August 23rd. She better be here by then!
I get it 100%. I KNOW and fully realize and I can literally feel all the moms out there with newborns, infants, screaming toddlers, etc., that these days are the best. They are the very last days I have of silence, sleep, peace, 1:1 time with my husband, etc. I get it. I know. I've heard it all. And I appreciate them so much, I really try. I really do. In fact I know that within my own SELF that I will look back on these days and wish that I had them back in just a few short weeks. I get that too! But at some point, you are just ready to get on with the next chapter, you know? I know things are about to get crazy challenging and words will be said in exhaustion that aren't meant and sleep will be a thing of the past, I know all this. But we are both 30 years old. We have wanted this baby and have tried for it since literally our wedding night (almost 3 years ago). We literally upgraded the size of our house and got a typical colonial last year in preparation for being able to start a family. We have planned for it and we are ready to just get that chapter started. We enjoyed our 20s so much, went on tons of vacations around the country, hundreds of concerts, date nights, etc. We are just so ready to welcome her into this home and get that chapter started.
I also get that she will come out when she's ready. If I had a penny for every time I've heard that within the last month, we could send a decent fund to her college savings account by now. I know she will come out when she is ready and I do not want to force that on her. But.....I wish I could ask her, is there anything you'd like mommy to do to help you be ready? Are you waiting on something I can do for you? The time is now, kid, let's get this show on the road! The exit sign is "down there"! Oye.
Things I have tried and obviously have had no effect:
- I ate tons of pineapple. Which, I really thought would work because around 35 weeks I had a hefty serving of it for lunch and did not know it could cause contractions, and we were in triage that night with contractions (but obviously sent home).
- Been drinking 3-4 tea bags worth of red raspberry leaf tea per day. Sometimes this makes me feel crampy while I drink it but no more excitement beyond that.
- We walk, a LOT. We walk approximately 1 mile, about 3-5 times per week. Its hard with the August Northeast weather (its either hot as h*ll or its monsooning this summer), but we try as often as we can or go to the local mall to walk.
- We got a yoga gym bouncy ball that I bounce on, circulate my hips on, you name it. Which is hilarious because my 12 lb dog thinks this ball is the antichrist and literally shakes in fear when she she's the ball. It's a little absurd.
- I really have never had a tolerance for spicy food ever, but I went and got the spiciest I could handle (literally the chicken at chipotle lol- childs play spice for most of you), and that did nothing.
- I meditated a lot. Nothing.
- I laid down in silence and had a heart to heart with the womb and tried telling her its okay to come out. Nothing.
BUT things I've accomplished in waiting:
-2 1000 piece puzzles. I seriously love puzzles but c'mon, there's only so much puzzling you can do.
-almost finished with my cross stitch piece I started in January! (It's big!)
- Organized every closet I could think of in this house.
- Put together a pack in play.
- Read a lot of information and books about parenting and welcoming babies written by pediatricians. I know this may be overkill, but I hate walking into something and just winging it. Big presentation at work next week? I prepare and practice as much as I possibly can. Big text next week? I study as much as I can. I hate "winging it", and I know we totally still will wing it, and this kid won't fit into what the textbooks say, but still, to me, it can't hurt to at least try and learn what to do when she's here.
Speaking of textbooks, I have thought of a few things that they do NOT tell you about in health class regarding pregnancy! Granted I have been through nursing school which has included a maternity class, but lets just say I didn't do great in that class...
- You have total permission to think less of me and that's fine, but for a huge portion of my life I thought pregnancy was 36 weeks. I mean, I've always learned its 9 months. There's 4 weeks in a month, and 4X9 is 36. When I then heard that its actually 40 weeks I am like what??? That's 10 months! Why don't they heavily advertise that! Granted I knew about this before we conceived but I was still shocked to learn I felt I've been tricked my whole life. And that's if the baby comes on time! Whats with this possibility of 41-42 weeks nonsense!!!
- mucous plug. WHAT! Man if they showed that to the kids in health class in high school, pregnancy rates would have to drop significantly. I lost mine about a week ago and MAN. I thought that was definitely an alien substance. And I'm a nurse! Therefore I thought it was fascinating, but many people would not think the same.
- Apparently only 15% of women have their water break! What is this! We live in a culture where all the movies we see, the pregnant woman's water ALWAYS breaks. Not just breaks, but its usually this epic scene of gushing waterfalls coming out. But apparently this is definitely not the case. Nope. Only 15% of women are "lucky" enough to get that epic sign that they are definitely in labor. The rest of us get to play the game of "Is this a fake contraction or a real contraction?" or the game of "lets go to triage again for 4 hours and get sent home". It's terribly fun.
Well thank you for reading all, I hope I've made some of you giggle here and there. It really is terribly funny and at this point all I can do is laugh about it otherwise I'll go crazy. And I know its just the beginning. We go to the doctor in a few hours and I hope that we hear of some progress!!!! Last week I was 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced so WHERE is she? Let's hope maybe we will have a baby tomorrow on her due date. If that's the case, at least we know we have a kid that can follow directions!
With love,
The New Motherboard <3
PS my next blog is going to be our birth story! No If's ands or buts!
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